Kyle and I just hit the seven-month mark since his deployment began, which means we’ve officially been apart longer than we’ve been together since we started dating. I’ve written about the ways we deal with the distance HERE, but I’m not going to lie, it’s still incredibly tough.
There’s not been one moment, though, when I thought it wasn’t worth it. Kyle’s my person and I’m much happier with him in my life (though far away) than I would be if he weren’t in my life. The distance is not forever. It’s just for now.
Still, if you’re in or have been in an LDR, there’s a pretty good chance you’d identify with some of these struggles we’ve had to face.
1. Goodbyes are the WORST. I am terrible at the goodbye. I almost always cry at the airport. You think it would get better the longer you’re in a relationship, but NOPE. Actually, we have a “no goodbye” rule: “It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later” (stemming from a super cute moment early in our relationship) but it really doesn’t make facing the distance any easier.
2. You schedule your conversations. Or, at the very least, you have an understanding about what time you can expect to talk to the other on daily or almost-daily basis. Kyle and I FaceTime pretty much every day, and generally that happens sometime between 6-8, right around dinner time. You know it’s true love when you put up with watching the other eat over video chat, even when it’s kinda gross. Kyle once made fun of me for two days after watching me scarf down potatoes after an incredibly long work day. The sacrifices we make fore love.
3. Worse yet, you have to deal with living in different time zones. Luckily, we don’t have to deal with this one right now, but when we first started dating and Kyle hadn’t moved here yet, we did. It was only one hour, but even that hour can make a difference when the other one is heading to bed so they can get up for work the next day.
4 Your emotions are all over the place. One moment, you’re just going along with your day, perfectly fine, the next you’re flung into the pit of despair thinking about how long you’re faced with being apart.
5 Your experiences are just a little bit diluted by the fact that they’re not there. Sure, you’re still going to have a great time at that game or concert, but you wish you could share it with them, too.
6 And maybe you’re just a little jealous of what they’re doing without you.
7 When you are together, there’s an unspoken pressure to ~make use~ of all your time together. Yes, celebrate the fact that you’re back together, but not every waking moment has to be spent doing something epic. One of our favorite things to do together is read in bed. Sometimes, being lazy and snuggly is just as valuable as getting dolled up for date night.
8 You’re not above saying/texting “I miss you” at least once a day. I am unapologetic about this. Same with “I love you.” I won’t let the distance leave my feelings ambiguous.
9 You get nervous when you don’t hear from them for a few hours. Guilty of this. My mind usually goes to the worst-case scenario: dead in a ditch somewhere. Usually he’s just playing a video game and hasn’t looked at his phone in a while.
10 Setting up visits can be tough. We both have demanding work schedules, which leaves us pretty limited in our ability to use vacations during certain times. I’m typically constrained by the average college academic year (including weekends), while he doesn’t want to appear not-dedicated by taking leaves every time it reloads while he’s deployed. Figuring out when the next visit is can be super frustrating.
11 You have a countdown until the next time you see each other. We did this a lot more when we first started dating and now to a lesser extent. But it still helps to see the days and — finally — hours dwindle until we’re together again.
12 You find yourself feeling a little nervous right before your reunion. Just me? I tend to get butterflies right before I get to the airport to pick him up. That could just be excitement at seeing him again, but just a little part of me almost feels like it’s the first time we’re meeting again.
13 But nothing beats the feeling of being back in each other’s arms. Is there anything better than that happy, smiley, embarrassingly show-off-y reunion kiss at the airport?
14 You pick up right where you left off. Pretty soon, things are back to normal, at least for the too-short time you’re back together. It’s almost like he never left.
15 You know if your relationship can handle this, it can handle anything. Long distance can be one of the most difficult hurdles to overcome, but if you can navigate it, you know you can handle any other conflict that comes up in your relationship. We’re pretty good at the whole long-distance thing, and I know we can get through it because we already have.
But I still can’t wait till he’s home again.